- Do clothes dissolve in water if left there sufficiently long
- Do clothes begin to eventually ferment
- Can designer undergarments make a fashion statement
- Just how strong can clothes stink
These are the facts I hope to unravel in the immediate days ahead. I've done what no man has done before: allowing his neglected garments to adapt to aquatic life by leaving them in wash buckets sufficiently long.
Of course, the original idea (simply washing my clothes) was far more benign and mainstream. It was on last Saturday that I finally decided to give my most neglected clothes a thorough wash. I dropped them all in soap water in a bucket and planned to do the rubbing, scrubbing and wringing a few hours later. The water had turned opaque as soon as the clothes were added, something not out of the ordinary for me.
The hours ticked by but I couldn't muster enough courage to approach the bucket. Let them stay there a little longer, I reasoned. Day turned into night, but I remained as lethargic as ever. The next day dawned with a fresh opportunity...& the opportunity tuned stale by dusk.
Monday and today kept me busy (with work) and SAPped by day end. I still don't have the will nor energy to do the washing. Why can't someone take pity on me and do the cleaning on humanitarian grounds?
To add to my woes, one of the shirts bleeds color (green) real bad. An undergarment that was originally white and that had turned pink in patches on account of a bunch of hooligans playing Holi (crap) has now been further assaulted by the bleeding green. Even Armani would be hard pressed to come up with such a riot of colors. I'm sure Elton John would pay a fortune to take possession of it. Now if only I could contact him.
I need amnesty from the routine torture of washing clothes. Please don't suggest the dhobi. I have something against them. Maybe all I need is a motivation guru.