Skip to main content


That personal looks would gain such precedence that it had the power of preempting everything else in your life when you were in your early 20's shouldn't be surprising. Kaushik and I exeplified this perfectly. Kaushik, my roommate in Pune, wasn't exactly obese, just slightly overweight with an emerging pot-belly, something that caused him immense consternation. He became most conscious of it whenever he was walking and found a pretty girl looking at him or anything within a radius of one mile.

Pune streets, unlike Jamshedpur's, were lined with a lot of cars. Kaushik would make use of his reflection from the window glass to see if everything was in place and impressionable. So each time a pretty babe would come nearer, Kaushik would frantically start admiring his reflections on all the car windows. His bulging belly would suddenly disappear as he would inhale and hold breath till the girl crossed, after which the suffocating Kaushik would 'collapse' back to his original self.

I used to be as thin as a string in those days and was desperate to gain weight. The horizontally-flat, vertically-convex windows tended to make one look shorter and fatter than he actually was...perfect for my ego. So I loved looking at the reflection imagining how handsome and irresistible I would seem to the ladies if I managed to gain some weight. I flattered myself often this way. So each time Kaushik and I walked together, we wouldn't spare any of our reflections each time we saw a stalled car.

Cut to the present. I've gained the much needed weight and some more. In fact, I've overshot. If I dare look at those reflections again, I'm sure I'll look more wide than tall. Unfortunately, escaping reflections isn't always possible. Our company lifts have interiors so shiny, they double as mirrors. And I just can't get used to what I see on the other side. There stands my alter ego, disdainfully staring back at me. And I guess the interiors of the lift are just as convexing. How else could I look this fat?! I compare the reflections of others with their actual selves. I haven't really draw any conclusive judgment yet on my suspicion.

Here's what makes the situation all the more pitiable. I often take the lift to reach the cafeteria for lunch or a quick snack. But each time my ominous reflection meets me in the lift, I lose my appetite.

After helping myself anyway, I feel infinitely guilty on my return trip. I swear I'll starve myself to death before adding another pound of flesh.


Popular posts from this blog

The year that was

I'm wearing a rather striking shirt, one that makes me feel like a clown fooling around in a graveyard. Roving eyes latch on to me and make me too conscious of myself. Checkered in red, grey, black and maroon, I've excused myself into donning it and looking silly for two reasons. It's Friday and…more importantly, the last working day of the year. Tailored half-a-year back, I never had the courage to wear it, not until today. It's that time of the year when it's time to reflect on the events that transpired. Last year ended on the worst possible note. Dad had expired and I was numb with shock. The repercussions rippled halfway thought this year. Things were so abysmal initially that I had lost the will to live. Acrid in everything I did, I was immensely angered by time phlegmatically flowing through its cadence. It was as if Dad meant nothing to anybody. What right did people have to live the way they always had when Dad was no more? Why was much of the world still

Post Christmas

The workday didn't have the sweetest of starts. After being made to wait for almost half-an-hour for breakfast in the cafeteria, I was told only when I enquired that there could be no omelette since the heater wasn't working properly. I lost my temper and aired my annoyance not because the heater was out-of-order but because I was needlessly made to wait for something that was just not about to happen. The onus was on them to intimate me and they failed to own up to their responsibility. I find this attitude very irksome. Anyway, the rest of the day was smooth sailing except for a minor glitch that had to be rectified just when I was about to head for lunch. The bay was mostly deserted since most of my colleagues had volunteered for a training. I'm self-taught...thus my being an exception to the mass exodus! Nilotpal is on a fortnight-long leave and I missed him dearly today.
I'm learning the hard way not to trust anyone. Even the one you revere the most may be scheming your downfall. By no stretch of imagination may this seem logical, but who said imagination is limitless?