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The following is an autoresponder I had composed a long time back. I received some funny replies!

Deepanjan is my name
Widespread is my fame

Dear biodegradable creature,
How dare you have the cheek to send me a mail!Have you even
the ghost of an idea how hideous is your crime?Hoping(but not expecting),that
your offence was committed under a spell of evanescent irrationality, you are
hereby permitted to continue feasting your eyes on this epistolary masterpiece.
You must obviously be aware that I belong to a higher sphere,and consequently dislike interacting with mere mortals like you. However,since I have been endowed with great magnanimity,I'll definitely condescend you by reading your frivolous mail within a month. However,a response will be sent only if you are worth your existance.
Since a personal reply is indicative of your worthiness,please feel free to consider yourself worthless and useless if you do not receive it within the stipulated period.In such a case,you are fraternally and in the best interest of posterity,advised to annihilate yourself.Non adherence would evince the immutability of your lunacy,thereby necessitating your immediate and forceful extermination without much ado.
Carpe diem!

Indignantly yours,
Deepanjan

Addenda:

1.Mails meant for me should be sent only to
deepanjan_nag_xp at hotmail dot com
Mailing to my superfluous addresses would hasten your
obliteration.

2.By now,if you are convinced that your days are
numbered,the following lines will alleviate your trauma-

Happy the man,and happy he alone,
He,who can call today his own;
He who,secure within,can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst,for I have
lived today.



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