Interpreter of Maladies

That's the doctor, not me. Mom's condition had deteriorated suddenly and that necessitated her admission into Hindusthan Health Point (that wasn't a spelling mistake) on the 12th. I'm leapfrogging the morbid details and highlighting the lighter facets.

SpiceJet was late by almost 3 hours and I reached Kolkata on the 14th @ 1:45am. The cab driver was an affable chap and we sped for home via EM Bypass. Spotted two ladies of the night. One was fair and strikingly dressed in knee-high boots and miniskirt. Unprepared though I was for it, I did manage enough of a glimpse to conclude that she was pretty and kinky. The other was tall and very skinny, hardly the type to appeal to non-perverts. Probably she was pimping her partner.

Reached home @ 0230 hrs, went to sleep @ 0300hrs, woke up at 0530hrs, reached the nursing home before 0630 hrs, waited for the doctor (we had an appointment) but in vain. Then began the routine of daily visits...which I'm not delving into.

Diya asked for a few seconds of fame shooting for my camera and I was only too glad to oblige. We managed to shoot many of her recitals and stills over the next few days, all of which are available on Youtube and Flickr.

Bought a few hangers, cheap T-shirts and ate plentiful, one of which was at a humble egg-roll corner. The wait was long but I didn't mind a bit as one of the waiting customers was a pretty lady with stunningly beautiful eyes. How intoxicating they were!

Mom returned home on the 23rd. I left for Bangalore yesterday via Air Deccan(I remained oblivious as my bus crossed the airport and rectified my mistake only after overshooting by a great distance...a lucky cabbie charged me Rs160). I was unlucky not to get the window seat. I was doubly lucky, however, as I fell in love with a gorgeous air hostess. The plane soared and so did my heart, we traveled SSW but I only knew North. Her flawless diction wafting through the cabin in-flight address system sounded like it was meant just for me. Her smile was fatal and I was reborn time and again just for her. Another day, another time, another dimension (and possibly another Big Bang) and we could have been pronounced man and wife!

We landed at the brand new Bangalore International Airport (inauguration day) precisely @ 7pm but our aircraft was allotted a parking space a good 15 mins later. As if that wasn't enough, we remained stranded in the cabin for another quarter-of-an-hour as that's how long the stepladder took to dock to the exit. My wife of few hours divorced me with one final killer smile.

Baggage claim was the next hurdle. Most people waited for over an hour for the conveyer belts to bring their luggage. There was chaos all around, logistics was unplanned, manpower fell way short of requirement and my anxiety grew with each passing minute. Can we do anything right? Excellence may be alien to our way of doing things, but do we even strive for mediocrity?

Embarked for JP Nagar from the bus stand at 8:20pm (fare Rs.80)and reached home at 10:30pm.

Consider this:

  • Kolkata airport to Bangalore airport: 2hrs 40 mins
  • Bangalore airport to JP Nagar: 3hrs 30 mins

It's a crazy world!

 

I've always had trouble putting my thoughts in order (undiagnosed dyslexia?). But it's only over the past few months that the malady has become rather acute (am I sounding familiar here?). Blogging has been a conspicuous victim of the debilitation. Putting my thoughts down now seems as tall an order as asking an impotent guy to star in a porn flick. I'm seriously worried. I'm afraid my blog has gotten worse for good.

 

Why did I choose Interpreter of Maladies as the title for this post?

  • This was the only one ambling across my head during my Kolkata visit.
  • A serious ailment was reason for all the experiences chronicled above.
  • The doctor's (interpreter) importance was amply accentuated over the past few days.
  • I discovered Jhumpa Lahiri's famous book with the same title at the Kolkata airport lounge yesterday. That sealed the deal.

Comments

saurabh said…
welcome back... and a vintage deeps post after a long time :)
vivek said…
Looks like they started this 'th' in place of 't' spelling in Kolkata also .....
Anonymous said…
I hope ur mom is in best of health now ......after many days checked ur blog ....
saurabh said…
kholkhata... hi hi hi...
i actually searched a patna friend in orkut by typing "Nishanth".
my frnd kept saying that he's in orkut and i was surprised why the search is not working. it took a lot of time before i realized the mistake.
gurdas said…
"I discovered Jhumpa Lahiri's famous book with the same title at the Kolkata airport lounge yesterday. That sealed the deal."

Surely you do not mean to say that when you conjured the title, you had never heard of Ms. Lahiri's book?
:-)
Deepanjan said…
'Found' would have been more apt.

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