Groping for words
Words aren't needed to feel something, but they've always been the staple crutches for thinking people. And for reasons that have now begun to frustrate me, I feel I'm unable to think vividly about anything. Something stunts it. Is it the mounting work-pressure that's having the debilitating effect on me or the guilt-feeling that's been consuming me for being manipulative, for twisting the rules of the game, for knowing in my heart of hearts that I'm not the sweet and innocent guy I once was and known for, for not utilizing my time more constructively, for neglecting my responsibilities and for not really being me?
I think it's the combined effect of many factors...often disparate. I feel despondent and wanna break free.